A bit overwhelmed I am. I feel like I'm juggling fine china, and desperately trying not to let anything drop or else result in the shattering of, my life in this case. I don't know how to keep up. I try to take one day at a time, but then there's always something that gets put on the back burner.
Sigh. I don't even know where to begin it's so muddled in my head.
The thing I've been talking about most is "The Challenge". This is the new crazy big financial audit that I'm in charge of for SCRRA. There is just so much about this job, that I feel like I'm not going to be able to keep my head above water. Meanwhile, the manager on the job talks to me like I'm a 5 year old. And this pisses me off. It is true, that I haven't done too many jobs like this one. And I probably don't know as much as I should. But he doesn't need to talk down to me. Just give me a some guidance. And all the while, I have other jobs that I'm trying to finish. (Infrastructure, if you're me, you'll understand what this is.) I have the weirdest job.
I need to go to the dentist.
I helped host my little sister's bridal shower this morning. I think it turned out well. I was in charge of games. The one game that I thought was fantastic was a musical game. Where I played a clip from a song that had the word "love" in the title and the guests had to guess the song and artist.
How deep is your love – The Bee Gees – 1:52
Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis - :38
Love & Marriage – Frank Sinatra – 1:54- 2:09
Endless Love – Luther Vandross (Mariah Carey) - :06-:20
Accidentally In Love – Counting Crows – 1:07-1:25
Groovy Kind of Love – Phil Collins – 2:04-2:30
All you Need is Love – The Beatles - :30-:42
Love In an Elevator – Aerosmith – 3:32
Make you Feel my Love – Adele – 1:29-1:52
Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe – Barry White
Seasons of Love – Rent - :33-:44
Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion – 2:40-2:55
You Are Loved – Josh Groban – 2:08-2:36
I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston – 2:40-2:49
Can You Feel the Love Tonight – 2:02-2:14
I think it went over pretty well. I had fun with it anyway. I also made her bouquet out of the ribbons from the presents. That turned out awesome also. I'm good at those for some reason. Beth's turned out pretty cool too. I told Auntie Dorothy that if it's never going to happen for me, atleast I'm good at making other people's bouquets. She scoffed at me, and I saw mom shoot me a dirty look.
I don't sleep enough.
I leave for Boston this week. I've been waiting for this trip since April. Get to see the Angels play at Fenway too. I keep telling people that this trip could change my life and I might not return because I will just end up moving there instead. We'll see how it goes. We stay in Vermont on Friday night, and Maine on Saturday night, and then home again home again on Sunday. Crazy.
I don't think I'm going to pass the CPA. Seems nearly impossible. I'm supposed to take another part on October 3rd, but I feel like I should postpone it. Studying is hard.
I called a loan officer to inquire about getting pre-approved for a home loan. We played phone tag for a few days. I was supposed to call her back the next day. That was 2 weeks ago.
We need to start looking for another roommate. The one that was in charge of everything is ending up to be bad with money, and has turned in our rent late for the past 3 months. Our cable went out on Thursday because she couldn't pay the cable bill. She failed to mention that she was having problems until the day before. Pissed.
Apparently auto-immune diseases run in the family. They're crazy rare in the general population, and now all 3 of us girls have something. How weird is that?
Did I mention I don't sleep enough?
My relationships are taking a toll on me. Haven't seen the guy I'm supposed to be dating in 3 weeks and therefore, haven't told him how frustrated I am with the lack of progression in our relationship. However, I have been ignoring calls. Okay, honestly I have been just busy when he calls. But still, I haven't returned the call. I have seen one of my friends that I don't see very often twice in the past 3 weeks. I had been doing very good with keeping the healthy distance though. Well on the way to "breaking up". And funny enough it seems he's doing the same thing. Is it a double standard? I want to be the one to pull away, but I want to know that I was appreciated. That I meant something. If I'm just going to fade away, it was a lot of investment into a relationship for naught. I think it's happening, and yes, it makes me sad. I had an opportunity to explain why I need to pull away, but I chickened out. sigh. I keep second guessing myself though as to why it needs to happen, maybe it isn't inevitable.
And this is just the stuff that is actually happening. These aren't even the battles raging in my brain. There are plenty of those as well.
I feel like if I only take one thing at a time something will slip and it will all crumble. So then I try and tackle it all at once, which also results in failure. Maybe stepping back a few days will help. Or else it will just all be waiting here when I return. Winning a battle, losing the war.
