Inspiration

I have a problem. I'm not sure if it's just me, or if it happens to a lot of people. My problem is a lack of ability to convert inspiration to something tangible.

I feel like I'm creative. I appreciate art, beauty, words, music... Why can I not create this? These experiences (and I call them experiences because they're more than just things aren't they? Essentially, it really is an emotional attachment of something we've encountered... isn't it?)... these experiences make me think and have shaped who I am and whenever I see, read, hear something that inspires me I give up trying to explain my reaction before I even start. Mostly because I believe it won't be possible to compete with what just happened. It was portrayed perfectly. I probably shouldn't muck it up.

I want to create things.

I've been told I hold back too much. In everything I do. I think my real problem is that 1) I still do care what other people think, even though I shouldn't, and 2) I don't know what I think.  How can I be honest when I'm not sure what is true? 

I want to be more than this.  I am more than this.

Clear Lake Snippit

My family is amazing.

Cross Another

Today I brewed the first batch of beer.  We'll have to wait a few weeks before I know if it's any good.... but still... it's the beginning to crossing off another item from the life list. 


Update:  It turned out pretty goooood.  I'll definitely have to make another one.  Makes me excited. 

New Ventures

A few weeks ago one of the shareholders in my firm texted me randomly.  She asked if she could pay me to take some pictures of her family.  She explained that every time she went to a studio her daughter never smiled.  And the pictures that she takes always turn out blurry.  I told her I'd do it, but that she didn't need to pay me.  I am, by no means, a professional, but it could be fun to give it a try.  

This past weekend I drove down to their neighborhood, and set up shop in a park that was familiar to their 2 year old.  I was completely nervous when I got there.  For the most part I felt as if I had no control.  I didn't get to choose positioning, or when we were moving on.  I pretty much just followed them around and shot.  Which is one way to do it, I guess.

It was a hard job.  But I had fun.  And I know I have a lot of room to grow.  I am still completely ignorant on so many aspects of this hobby.  I have so much to learn.  It was a good experience. 

When I revealed the photos to Jenn the next day I was so crazy nervous then too. But she came up to my desk with tears in her eyes, thanking me for capturing every personality of her daughter. And even though I can deny that I'm any good at all, this is so nice to hear.


And the next day I had this note on my desk:

She keeps insisting that I do this as a job.  She can see the passion I have.  But I swear... I'm really not that good.  And I say this to people, and it sounds like fishing for compliments.  But it's not.  And it's not lack of confidence either.  It really isn't.  I just know that I have a long way to go, and so much to learn.  Maybe one day. 



Lesson from the Gilmores

This should really be a regular occurring segment.  There is so much knowledge to obtain from this family.  But the quote of the day is this:
"Life is a battle... and you either enter it armed, or you surrender immediately."

Reflecting back at his mother's funeral, he remembers something his mother told him when he was 10 years old.  "Life is a battle... and you either enter it armed, or you surrender immediately."

Fight.  So many crazy things come at you in this life.  Fight it.  Be ready to take action for what you want.  For what you know is right.  For what you need.  Very few other people will do this for you, if anyone at all.  When you do find someone that will fight for you, or with you, make sure you keep them around.  Allies are handy.  :)