Saturday, January 17, 2009

Shake Shake Shake

Ever have one of those days that you just want to cry and desperately need a hug? It's been that kind of week. Few weeks actually. I don't know why really. Work has been rough, and I really think that's the worst of it. But I have been feeling like I've failed in most aspects of my life. It was one thing after another, I just screw up. Little things at times, like misspelling a word or not succeeding in the theme for my photos. But everything together made me crumble. It was just emotionally, spiritually, even physically draining. I shut everyone out because I just didn't want to talk about it, think about it, deal with it. And then those that I shut out got upset that they hadn't heard from me. One in particular. I don't really understand it. We normally talk everyday, and we didn't really talk in a week, and I'm pissing him off? Do I need to tell him everything that's going on in my life? I think he tells me pretty much everything that's going on in his, and I love it, but does that mean I need to reciprocate? He was, maybe is, one of my best friends. But recently I've been feeling like I need to protect myself a little more. That he can't be the one I tell everything to. That if he's that person for me, then I won't be as open to find someone else to be that person for me. Is that unfair? Maybe it is. Anyway, that's a whole other topic.
So my funk for the past couple weeks has kind of worn off. I'm not entirely sure why I've been so discouraged. Is it just me? Was there a full moon? Is it just post holiday depression? I don't know. Tomorrow Seth is coming for an "intervention". So I'll have to discuss the funk with him. I'll try and be as honest as I can. Sometimes I'm way too vague. He thinks he can fix me. But I don't think he can. I'll try to let him try. I think he needs to think he's making a difference. We'll see how it goes.
I'll keep trying to shake the funk. It happens every now and then. I'll continue to try and shake it.

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